Foreword -- Moose on the loose -- Three hole outhouse -- Grandpa's gebic bag -- How poor were you? -- Ancient Ojibwe recipes -- Amos gets a new house -- Damn hippies -- Hurling with Luci -- Shared sorrows -- Scalping Columbus -- The curse of the totem pole -- Now that's brave -- Farts among many -- Evil spirits of Alcatraz -- General Fremont's cannon -- How I saved Patty Hearst's father from the SLA: the untold story -- Never let a good deed go unpunished -- The saga of the Lahontan Valley long-legged turtles -- Mark your territory -- Sonny Mosquito and the chicken dance -- White man sweats him -- Tell me another damn Indian story, grandpa -- Alcatraz is not an island -- Onward christian soldiers -- Good medicine -- Brokeback Boulder -- Filipino gold -- Good medicine -- Italian mill house -- Peace and friendship -- The goose hunter -- Going back -- The nickel hunter -- Medicine gift -- Newt -- Walking Eagle Nation -- Jewish Indian -- Don't take chances -- The four B.C.s -- Twelve disciples -- Two tents -- This is a mini-joke, so you give me a mini-ha-ha -- Spiritual leader, shaman, almost a messiah -- Indian health (you're gonna die!) -- The nine lives of Fortunate Eagle -- Glossary -- Appendix: percentage of bullshit per story.